534. the guru’s gone

the guru’s students could not find him anywhere, so they went to the tortoise and asked, “have you seen the guru?”

the tortoise replied, “look, you’re the ones paying him, not me. every time he goes to meditate or takes a walk or gives you a riddle you can’t understand, you come to me. but i’m just a tortoise. i’m small and slow and i’m not the guru’s secretary or #zentern. i don’t know where he is. not now, not usually. and i would appreciate if you would leave me alone.”

the students left, and the tortoise said, “okay, guru, you can come out now.”