627. how to celebrate zensday

a prized zentern of the guru’s came to him on zensday and asked, “you have told us to keep zensday, but how do we do this?”

the guru replied, “if you go to the Goddess and ask her how to keep her day holy, she will tell you to devote it to her. but i will not make the same demand, because i know many of you have work and responsibilities. however, i do ask that you do two things, in order to keep zensday zenful.”

“what are those?” the zentern asked.

“the first is to be lazy. everyone tells you to work hard, but they only tell you this because they want to relax. so relax yourself. many kōanunists work on zensday, and that is fine, but hopefully, they don’t work very hard.”

“and what is the second?” asked the zentern.

“the second is to eat something delicious that’s bad for you. for it is pointless to eat healthy if not to indulge. and you cannot feel guilty for overeating on zensday, no more than the followers of the Goddess feel guilty for being lazy on her day. for today, it is not a vice, but a virtue.”

“how can we remember this?” the student asked.

“just remember: snack and slack.”

enjoy your zensday and keep it zenful by slacking and snacking and spreading zen.