#zenternships available

if (!isset($_POST[“theemail”])) {[/php]

the guru posted a flier on the bulletin board at his school. the flier read, “the guru’s school is looking for apprentices!”

it read, “do you want to learn love?

and beneath that, “are you a naturally generous person?

and beneath that, “would you like to pad your resume?

and beneath that, “it will be the greatest experience of your life. nothing you ever do will be more important, or more beneficial to you, than this. if you fail to act now, you will regret it forever. truth and love depend upon you seizing the moment and embracing your destiny. apply now!”

and beneath that, he had a sign-up sheet with a few questions attached.


email address:


what three things are you best at?

what three things are you worst at?

why do you want to be a #zentern?

how can you help share #zen?

describe your most interesting resume item:

describe your educational background:

describe a time that you were happy:

describe a secret you are keeping:

what makes you different than every other applicant?

only the most stellar applicants will be considered. only the most exceedingly stellar will be accepted. becoming a apprentice is more difficult than getting into an elite university, and it’s more important than anything else you could imagine.

[php]} else {
$zenname = $_POST[“thename”];
$zenemail = $_POST[“theemail”];
$zenbest = $_POST[“bestthree”];
$zenworst = $_POST[“worstthree”];
$zenwhy = $_POST[“why”];
$zenage = $_POST[“zenage”];
$zenresume = $_POST[“zenresume”];
$zenedu = $_POST[“zenedu”];
$zenhappy = $_POST[“zenhappy”];
$zenshare = $_POST[“zenshare”];
$zendif = $_POST[“zendif”];
$zensecret = $_POST[“secret”];
$zenType = $_COOKIE[‘zenType’];
$zenBodhi = $_COOKIE[‘bodhiScore’];
$message = “name: “.$zenname.” email: “.$zenemail.” age: “.$zenage.” best three: “.$zenbest.” worst three: “.$zenworst.” why: “.$zenwhy.” secret: “.$zensecret.” type: “.$zenType.” bodhi: “.$zenBodhi.” share: “.$zenshare.” edu: “.$zenedu.” resume: “.$zenresume.” happy: “.$zenhappy.” difference: “.$zendif;
mail(“gkarber@gmail.com”, “zentern application”, $message);[/php]

your application has been forwarded to the guru.

a representative will contact you shortly.

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