one-million haiku

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$season = rand(1,4);
$form = rand(1,4);
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before he died, the guru wrote more than one million haiku. he wrote this one in the [php]
if ($season == 1) echo “spring”;
if ($season == 2) echo “summer”;
if ($season == 3) echo “fall”;
if ($season == 4) echo “winter”;
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of his life:

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// SPRING WORDS
if ($season == 1) {
$onenoun = array(“haze”, “plow”, “kite”, “swing”, “frog”, “colt”, “plum”, “seed”, “sprout”, “song”,);
$oneadj = array(“warm”, “spring”, “light”, “green”, “fresh”, “wet”, “young”);
$twonoun = array(“spring day”, “spring dawn”, “spring night”, “long day”, “deep spring”, “spring light”, “spring sky”, “spring clouds”, “spring wind”, “east wind”, “spring gust”, “spring rain”, “light snow”, “last frost”, “spring field”, “spring sea”, “spring tide”, “spring soil”, “spring mud”, “thin ice”, “melt off”, “ice floe”, “balloon”, “pinwheel”, “pheasant”, “skylark”, “pony”, “swallow”, “silkworm”, “red plum”, “blossom”, “tree bud”, “young green”, “lettuce”, “Goddess”,);
$twoadj = array(“melting”, “thawing”, “sprouting”, “changing”, “floating”, “serene”, “still cold”, “spring-like”, “tranquil”, “airy”, “growing”, “sexy”);
$threenoun = array(“shallow spring”, “blossom cool”, “hazy moon”, “first spring gust”, “yellow gust”, “spring thunder”, “cloudy spring”, “end of snow”, “spring thunder”, “blossom haze”, “spring mountain”, “avalanche”, “melting snow”, “spring lantern”, “soap bubbles”, “planting seed”, “tea picking”, “beach combing”, “pilgrimage”, “bush warbler”, “cat in love”, “twittering”, “butterfly”, “red snapper”, “first blossom”, “green barley”, “spring grasses”, “violet”, “azalea”, “mulberry”, “willow fluff”, “bean flower”, “lettuce leaf”);
$threeadj = array(“blossom cool”, “violet”, “mulberry”);
$fournoun = array(“lingering day”, “coming of spring”, “returning cold”, “water of spring”, “spring paddy fields”, “warming water”, “rice seedling patch”, “cherrystone clam”, “sunflower sprout”, “tortoise’s shell”, “mustard flower”, “small sunflower”);
}

// SUMMER WORDS
if ($season == 2) {
$onenoun = array(“drought”, “sun”, “heat”);
$oneadj = array(“red”, “hot”, “scorched”);
$twonoun = array(“short night”, “cloud peak”, “south wind”, “rainbow”, “wellspring”, “new tea”, “straw mat”, “sweetfish”, “green plum”, “lily”, “melon”, “eggplant”, “lotus”, “barley”, “rank weed”, “green weed”, “burweed”, “duckweed”);
$twonounplural = array(“short nights”, “rainbows”, “lilies”, “melons”);
$twoadj = array(“sizzling”, “burning”, “red-hot”);
$threenoun = array(“summer moon”, “frequent breeze”, “evening lull”, “afterglow”, “shady side”, “green paddy”, “fountainhead”, “clear water”, “waterfall”, “river frog”, “kingfisher”, “water rail”, “firefly”, “cicada”, “mosquito”, “peony”, “summer grove”, “green leaf shade”, “young maple”, “blighted leaf”, “moon flower”, “bamboo shoot”, “young rice plant”, “water oat”, “volcano”);
$threenounplural = array(“lotuses”, “clear waters”, “fireworks”, “blighted leaves”, “moon flowers”, “young maples”, “green paddies”);
$threeadj = array(“hot and dry”, “burning hot”);
$fournoun = array(“night autumnal”, “rainy season”, “heat at midday”, “summer meadow”, “green bamboo blind”, “cutting grass”, “little cuckoo”, “old bush warbler”, “first bonito”, “cicada shell”, “summer blossom”, “leafing cherry”, “newly green tree”, “summer grass”);
$fouradj = array(“hunk of burning”);
}

// FALL WORDS
if ($season == 3) {
$onenoun = array(“moon”, “fog”, “dew”, “deer”, “shrike”, “quail”, “goose”, “bug”, “peach”, “grape”, “pear”);
$oneadj = array(“crisp”, “ripe”, “gold”, “chill”);
$twonoun = array(“long night”, “night chill”, “bright moon”, “first storm”, “windstorm”, “lightning”, “dew chill”, “dew frost”, “first tide”, “new rice”, “lantern”, “scarecrow”, “new straw”, “wagtail”, “salmon”, “insect”, “goby”, “sardine”, “cricket”, “apple”, “chestnut”, “citron”, “red leaf”, “maple”, “orchid”, “rice plant”, “knotgrass”, “mushroom”, “hemlock”);
$twoadj = array(“harvest”, “ripened”, “crumbling”);
$threenoun = array(“autumn day”, “autumn dusk”, “autumn air”, “autumn’s voice”, “harvest moon”, “sixteenth night”, “new soba”, “rice cutting”, “migrating bird”, “rice sparrow”, “sand piper”, “dragonfly”, “bell cricket”, “pine cricket”, “persimmon”, “cock’s comb potato”, “early rice”, “fallen ear”, “withered tip”, “bush clover”, “bell flower”);
$threeadj = array(“ripening”);
$fournoun = array(“fleeting autumn”, “autumn color”, “mackerel cloud”, “waiting evening”, “flower garden”, “flowery field”, “autumn lamplight”);
}

// WINTER WORDS
if ($season == 4) {
$onenoun = array(“freeze”, “sleet”, “frost”, “snow”, “ice”, “quilt”, “stilts”, “hawk”, “rock”, “cup”);
$oneadj = array(“dead”, “cold”, “blue”, “white”, “iced”, “clear”);
$twonoun = array(“short day”, “north wind”, “snowflake”, “first snow”, “porridge”, “charcoal”, “cold crow”, “wild duck”, “oyster”, “bed bug”, “cold mum”, “sparrow”);
$twoadj = array(“icy”, “sullen”, “lonely”, “frozen”, “stone cold”, “broken”);
$threenoun = array(“winter night”, “winter moon”, “winter rain”, “snow pellet”, “icicle”, “fireplace”, “bonfire”, “waterfowl”, “yellow tail”, “early plum”, “fallen leaf”, “winter grove”, “tea flower”, “spearflower”, “narcissus”, “passing year”, “dead lettuce”);
$threeadj = array(“super cold”, “really cold”);
$fournoun = array(“close of the year”, “withering wind”, “winter shower”, “winter mountain”, “winter paddy”, “wicker fishnet”, “mandarin duck”, “sea cucumber”, “lonely hermit”, “withered lotus”);
}

// CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thetwonountwo = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
if ($thetwonoun == $thetwonountwo) $thetwonountwo = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$wherebreak = rand(0,3); // CHOOSE LOCATION FOR CAESERA

// FORM (WORK ON THIS)
//
// 1:
// something that describes
// an independent clause
// topper
//
// 2:
// a noun phrase
// the predicate
// topper
//
// 3:
// noun phrase
// connector/topper
// noun phrase
//
// 4:
// something that describes
// a noun phrase
// a predicate

// CHOOSE LINE FORMATS

if ($form == 1) {

$firstline = array(“looking for the “.$theonenoun, “floating over all”, “when the “.$thetwonoun.” dreams”, “ceasing all movement”, “adrift on the lake”, “dreaming of its dreams”, “there is but one truth”, “something quite like #zen”, “like a tortoise eats”, “rocking like a rock”, “giving up the ghost”, $theoneadj.” and unexplained”);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$secondline = array(“the “.$thethreenoun.” contemplates”, “the “.$thethreenoun.” is quite “.$theoneadj, “the “.$thethreenoun.” is “.$thetwoadj, “an ancient “.$thetwonoun.” takes flight”, “the “.$thefournoun.” is “.$theoneadj, “the “.$thetwonoun.” can never be”);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$thirdline = array(“a single “.$thetwonoun, “an old, silent “.$theonenoun, “a #zenlightened “.$theonenoun, “only the “.$thetwonoun, “a beautiful day”, “something like a fog”, “if it could just last”, “this is what is this”, “nothing else matters”, “now do you believe?”, “are we but a dream?”, “it is not the “.$theonenoun, “do you see it now?”, “this is the last time!”, “an old, silent “.$theonenoun, “a #zenlightened “.$theonenoun, “only the “.$thetwonoun,);

}

// 2:
// a noun phrase
// the predicate
// topper

if ($form == 2) {

$firstline = array(“the “.$theonenoun.” in the lake”, “the “.$thethreenoun.”, “.$theoneadj.”,”, “a single “.$thetwonoun, “the peaceful “.$thetwonoun, “meditative “.$theonenoun, “the sad “.$thethreenoun, “an old silent “.$theonenoun, “the “.$thefournoun);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$secondline = array(“rises above all that is”, “is all you need to know”, “amasses all the bodhi”, “can attain #zenlightenment”, “dreams of unknown tomorrows”, “dances like the “.$thethreenoun, “can never be lost nor found”, “is not a dream in disguise”, “can find truth, or falsity,”, “sleeps in the “. $thetwoadj.” night”, “retreats into the shadows”, “painted the color of “.$theonenoun, “falls downward, like a “.$thetwonoun, “is nothing but illusion”, “feels like a “.$theoneadj.” tomorrow”, “seems to float like “.$thetwoadj.” air”);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$thirdline = array(“while the “.$theonenoun.” goes on”, “while the tortoise crawls”, “that is all that is”, “the “.$thetwonoun.” at peace”, “the “.$thethreenoun.” weeps”, “under the “.$thetwonoun, “above the “.$thetwonoun, “all that is is known”);
}

// 3:
// noun phrase
// connector/topper
// noun phrase

if ($form == 3) {

$firstline = array(“the “.$theonenoun.” in the lake”, “the “.$thethreenoun.”, “.$theoneadj, “a single “.$thetwonoun, “the “.$theonenoun.” spinning on”, “the “.$thetwonoun.” at peace”, “meditative “.$theonenoun, “the “.$thethreenoun.” weeping”, “an old silent “.$theonenoun, “the “.$thefournoun);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$secondline = array(“petals on a wet black bough”, “if they ask, i wasn’t there”, “is exactly the same as”, “is #zenlightened, not unlike”, “cannot see the beauty of”, “must always be compared to”, “can never be as #zen as”, “is like a worse version of”, “changes like a “.$theonenoun.” unlike”, “which brings me to my next thought:”, “it is often found paired with”, “is something that is good, like”, “is like, one of those things, like”);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$thirdline = array(“the “.$theonenoun.” in the lake”, “the “.$thethreenoun.”, “.$theoneadj, “a single “.$thetwonoun, “the “.$theonenoun.” spinning on”, “the “.$thetwonoun.” at peace”, “a #zenlightened “.$theonenoun, “the “.$thethreenoun.” weeping”, “an old silent “.$theonenoun, “the “.$thefournoun);

}

// 4:
// something that describes
// a noun phrase
// a predicate

if ($form == 4) {

$firstline = array(“looking for the “.$theonenoun, “floating over all”, “when the “.$thetwonoun.” dreams”, “ceasing all movement”, “adrift on the lake”, “dreaming of dreams and”, “there is but one truth”, “something quite like #zen”, “like a tortoise eats”, “rocking like a rock”, “giving up the ghost”, $theoneadj.” and unexplained”, “drained like the “.$thetwonoun, “above and beyond”, “with #zen or without”, “unexplainable”);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$secondline = array(“a lonely little “.$thetwonoun, “the “.$thethreenoun.” in the lake”, “the “.$thefournoun.” at peace”, “the meditative “.$thetwonoun, “an old, silent “.$thethreenoun, “a solitary “.$thetwonoun, “the “.$thetwonoun.” or the “.$thetwonountwo);

// RE-CHOOSE SEASONAL WORDS
$theonenoun = $onenoun[array_rand($onenoun)];
$thetwonoun = $twonoun[array_rand($twonoun)];
$thethreenoun = $threenoun[array_rand($threenoun)];
$thefournoun = $fournoun[array_rand($fournoun)];

$theoneadj = $oneadj[array_rand($oneadj)];
$thetwoadj = $twoadj[array_rand($twoadj)];
$thethreeadj = $threeadj[array_rand($threeadj)];

$thirdline = array(“dances all alone”, “cannot be unseen”, “flies in its own way”, “dreams of its today”, “fights with all its might”, “is always so “.$theoneadj, “cannot be too “.$theoneadj, “the “.$thethreeadj.” “.$theonenoun);
}

// ASSEMBLE AND ECHO THE HAIKU:

$thefirstline = $firstline[array_rand($firstline)]; // CHOOSE FIRST LINE
echo $thefirstline;

// if ($wherebreak == 1) echo “–“;

echo “
“;
$thesecondline = $secondline[array_rand($secondline)];
echo $thesecondline;

// if ($wherebreak == 2) echo “–“;

echo “
“;
$thethirdline = $thirdline[array_rand($thirdline)];
echo $thethirdline;

// if ($wherebreak == 3) echo “–“;
echo “

“;

$tweethaiku = $thefirstline.” / “.$thesecondline.” / “.$thethirdline;
$tweethaiku = str_replace(“#”, “%23″, $tweethaiku);
$newtweethaiku = str_replace(” “, “+”, $tweethaiku);

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