[php]if ((!isset($_REQUEST[‘p’])) or ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘nap’)) {
$_SESSION[‘guard’] = true;
$_SESSION[‘keyreach’] = 0;
$_SESSION[‘tunnel’] = false;
$_SESSION[‘vilcheck’] = 0;
[/php]
[php]if ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘nap’) {[/php]
the guru woke up from a dream he could not remember.
[php]}[/php]
[php]if ($_SESSION[‘tunnel’] == false) { [/php]the guru sat in his cell, counting the bricks in the wall.[php]} else {[/php]the guru sat in his cell, which now had a giant hole in the wall.[php]}[/php]
on the other side of the bars was a hallway. on the other side of the hallway was a set of keys. [php] if ($_SESSION[‘guard’] == true) {[/php]down the hallway was a guard.[php]}[/php]
on the other side of his cell was a small window with small bars.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘cel’) { [/php]
[php]if ($_SESSION[‘tunnel’] == false) { [/php]the guru sat in his cell, counting the bricks in the wall.[php]} else {[/php]the guru sat in his cell, which now had a giant hole in the wall.[php]}[/php]
on the other side of the bars was a hallway. on the other side of the hallway was a set of keys. [php] if ($_SESSION[‘guard’] == true) {[/php]down the hallway was a guard.[php]}[/php]
on the other side of his cell was a small window with small bars.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘key’) {
$_SESSION[‘keyreach’]++;
if ($_SESSION[‘keyreach’] == 1) {[/php]
the guru stuck his hands through the bars and reached for the set of keys.
he got a few inches away when the guard noticed and said, “hey, stop that!”
the guru said, “what are you going to do? arrest me?”
the guard said, “i’ll beat you up.”
the guru said, “you make a convincing argument.”
the guru stepped back into the cell.
[php]} elseif ($_SESSION[‘keyreach’] == 2) {
$_SESSION[‘guard’] = false; [/php]
the guru reached out for the keys again. this time, the guard noticed immediately. “stop that!”
he came down hallway toward the cell and got in the guru’s face. “who do you think you are?”
the guru said, “i’m a random villager who’s been wrongfully convicted!”
the guard said, “wait, you’re not the guru?”
the guru said, “no, not at all.”
the guard said, “let me go talk to my superiors about this.”
and the guard left. the guru looked around the cell.
[php]} elseif ($_SESSION[‘keyreach’] > 2) {[/php]
the guru reached for the keys again. this time, there was no guard to stop him.
but he still couldn’t reach them.
“[php function=3]” he exclaimed. and he returned to looking around the cell.
[php]}} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘gua’) { [/php]
the guru said, “hey, guard!”
the guard didn’t reply. probably too busy counting bricks.
anyway, the guru looked around his cell.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘win’) { [/php]
the guru climbed up the bricks on one end of his cell and peered out the window.
outside, a villager wandered around.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘vil’) { [/php]
the guru said, “hey, villager! could you help me?”
the villager said, “uh, don’t you know who i am?”
“oh,” the guru said sarcastically. “i’m sorry. i didn’t know you were too important to help a wrongfully imprisoned man.”
“first of all, you were not wrongfully imprisoned. you let yourself into the village archives without asking. that’s trespassing. and secondly, i didn’t mean i was famous, i meant that i was a student who had studied under you for ten years. i have paid you thousands of ducats for your teachings, and you do not remember me at all. you know what? i came down here to break you out, but now, forget it. i quit!”
[php]if ($_SESSION[‘vilcheck’] == 1) echo “
the guru could not believe that that exact thing happened again.
“;
$_SESSION[‘vilcheck’] = 1;
[/php]
he climbed back down into his cell.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘bar’) { [/php]
the guru looked at the bars on his cell. they looked pretty sturdy, but maybe if he tried really hard, he could pry them apart.
[php]if (!isset($_SESSION[‘barpry’])) $_SESSION[‘barpry’] = 1;
} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘vau’) { // try to pry [/php]
the vault door was locked from the outside.
the guru could either crawl back through the tunnel to the jail or pound on the door.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘va2’) { // crawl back [/php]
the guru started crawling through the tunnel. when he got about halfway, he heard people shouting, “if you find the guru, kill him!” that was enough to make him turn around and head back for the vault.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘pou’) { // pound on the door [/php]
the guru pounded on the door of the vault.
the banker called back, “who’s in there?”
the guru could either say “me,” “the guru,” or “a robber!”
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘mes’) { // say me! [/php]
the guru called out, “i’m me!”
the banker said, “wait a second, are you that incredibly rich businessman who i was going to meet with later on today?”
the guru could either say “yes” or “no.”
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘yes’) { // say yes [/php]
the guru said, “yes.”
the banker said, “excellent! with you trapped in there, you won’t be able to get out of paying me back the money that you owe me.”
the guru said, “oh. i’m not that businessman. nevermind.”
the banker said, “then who are you?”
the guru could say “the guru” or “a robber.”
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘sno’) { // say no [/php]
the guru said, “no.”
the banker said, “then who are you?”
the guru could say “the guru” or “a robber.”
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘gur’) { // say the guru [/php]
the guru said, “i’m the guru!”
the banker said, “the guru? you’re a fugitive! i’m going to make so much money turning you in.”
that didn’t work. there had to be some way to escape this vault.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘rob’) { // say a robber
$_SESSION[‘napper’] == true;
[/php]
the banker replied, “oh, well in that case, i’ll activate the crusher!”
immediately, the walls began to close in on the guru.
he could pound on the vault door, scream for help, or do nothing.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘ope’) { // the vault doors open
if ($_COOKIE[‘protracker’] == 6) setcookie(“protracker”, 7, $cooltime, “/”, “.koanoftheday.com”);[/php]
the vault doors opened and the banker stood on the other side.
“oh, guru,” the banker said. “i didn’t know it was you.”
the guru stared at the banker.
“you’re a fugitive,” the banker said.
the guru continued to stare.
the banker looked away and muttered. “okay, uh, you can leave.”
the guru left the bank.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘pry’) { // try to pry [/php]
the guru tried to pry the bars apart but he could not.
[php] if ($_SESSION[‘guard’] == true) {[/php]
the guard shouted, “hey, watch it!”
[php]}[/php]
the guru went back to sitting.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘bri’) { // the secret bricks
$_SESSION[‘tunnel’] = true;
[/php]
the guru pressed his hand against a brick and it fell into the wall, revealing a tunnel beneth it. the guru glanced over at the guard to make sure he wasn’t watching, and then he crawled into the tunnel.
[php]} elseif ($_REQUEST[‘p’] == ‘tun’) { // crawling into the tunnel
if ($_SESSION[‘guard’] == true) { [/php]
the guru started to climb into the tunnel in his room.
immediately, the guard ran up to the cell and shouted, “hey, what do you think you’re doing?”
the guru said, “escaping?”
the guard said, “that’s not allowed!”
the guru said, “well, i didn’t figure it was.”
the guard said, “get back in your cell!”
the guru kept climbing into the tunnel. the guard went back down the hallway, picked up a spear, and brought it back. the guru was about halfway into the tunnel when the guard said, “if you don’t stop right now, i’m going to spear you.”
the guru said, “fine. okay. you’ve convinced me.”
the guard smiled. the guru went back to looking around his cell.
[php]} else { [/php]
the guru climbed into the tunnel and vanished without a trace. or rather, without any trace except for the giant hole in the wall connected to a tunnel.
he climbed through the tunnel until he emerged in a familiar room. it was filled with small boxes, labeled with letters and numbers. it was the banker’s vault, and he was trapped inside. he looked around.
[php]} // end the guard checks
} // end the p-checks [/php]