essential reading:
the complete scrolls:
- 1. an empty cup
- 2. the lawyer’s truth
- 3. proof
- 4. logic
- 5. the opposite
- 6. the reality of love
- 7. the definition of love
- 8. two accusations
- 9. a riddle unraveled
- 10. the guru explains
- 11. on taking a trip
- 12. existence and illusion
- 13. the tortoise’s thoughts
- 14. what is moving?
- 15. the guru’s two things
- 16. the tortoise’s truth
- 17. the greatest thing you can say to your lover
- 18. a lie or two
- 19. a catchy song
- 20. on the afterlife
- 21. reflection affection
- 22. the limits of knowledge
- 23. the secret of happiness
- 24. the largest number
- 25. two paths
- 26. the truth of the guru’s teachings
- 27. on forgiveness
- 28. a race
- 29. the tortoise’s love
- 30. on meaning
- 31. a klassic
- 32. the most important koan
- 33. is it? is he?
- 34. the student’s one thing
- 35. the guru’s belief
- 36. the defendant
- 37. one witness
- 38. the guru’s wit
- 39. oracular cross
- 40. his own defense
- 41. the verdict
- 42. the guru’s last meal
- 43. my life or my philosophy
- 44. the guru teaches meditation
- 45. the guru drinks hemlock
- 46. the greatest island
- 47.
- 48. a short proof that every koan is interesting
- 49. how to meditate on the koans
- 50. yesterday’s koan
- 51. skipping meditation
- 52. the meaning of life
- 53. stepping in the same river twice
- 54. how to count to ten
- 55. on value
- 56. a fat man beneath a tree
- 57. on skepticism
- 58. one with the universe
- 59. a usual dream
- 60. the guru’s three things
- 61. april fools
- 62. why does the moon move?
- 63. sleep
- 64. how to become a guru
- 65. how the guru became #zenlightened
- 66. how to attract attention
- 67. spin like the moon
- 68. the reflection of the moon
- 69. the story of the _________ in the moon
- 70. making all the difference
- 71. the money-back guarantee
- 72. tomorrow’s class
- 73. subscription perks
- 74. legal logic
- 75. how to attain bodhi
- 76. the tortoise’s dream, part one
- 77. the tortoise’s dream, part two
- 78. the tortoise’s dream, part three
- 79. the guru’s dream, part one
- 80. the tortoise’s dream, part four
- 81. what beauty
- 82. 99 seeds
- 83. axiomatic proposition
- 84. the tortoise’s shell
- 85. fast friends forever
- 86. a footrace rematch
- 87?
- 88. banker contemplator
- 89. nothing and the rock
- 90. the guru’s regrets
- 91. memory and the lake
- 92. shore sunflower
- 93. to be a fish
- 94. the rock’s belief
- 95. the still lake
- 96. the sun and the clouds
- 97. the guru’s song, part one
- 98. the guru’s song, part two
- 99. the guru’s song, part three
- 100. the guru’s song, part four
- 101. how to make easy money
- 102. semantics
- 103. the guru’s credit
- 104. the moon was bored
- 105. another teacher
- 106. the tortoise’s advice
- 106(b). the tortoise’s advice, part two
- 107. libre non gratis
- 108. relationship advice
- 110. a question
- 111. koantradictions
- 112. “something funny”
- 113. the banker, the student
- 114. to forget is #zen
- 115. the long walk
- 116. the guru’s speech
- 117. the tortoise was late…
- 118. beginning and end
- 199. a comparison.
- 120. the banker’s concern
- 121. the first six days
- 122. a beautiful woman
- 123. bread from the sky
- 124. a vision of the tortoise
- 125. the mirage
- 126. the quality of love
- 127. the wedding of the tortoises
- 128. second thoughts
- 129. freedom
- 130. the equality of love
- 131. a mysterious voice
- 132. the guru’s secret
- 133. sunflower gossip
- 134. a talk with the tortoise
- 135. the message that will change the guru’s life
- 136. the Goddess’s gift
- 137. the guru’s hut burns down
- 138. how to answer a difficult question
- 139. the guru changes everything
- 140. a lost koan.
- 141. [title here]
- 142. all is koan
- 143. student teacher
- 144. reciprocity
- 145. the students demand a refund
- 146. koan village: the Goddess’s two things
- 147. koan village: mooning
- 148. koan village: the Goddess’s questions
- 149. koan village: the banker’s back
- 150. koan village: a mysterious temple
- 151. the guru takes a week off
- 152. how to avoid criticism
- 153. meditation revelation
- 154. old koans, now found
- 155. begging the good
- 156. the sophist arrives
- 157. love and the guru
- 158. two sides to every coin
- 159. the meaning of life
- 160. closing statements
- 161. the tortoise vacation
- 162. a lack of lettuce, part one
- 163. a lack of lettuce, part two
- 164. the tortoise’s friend
- 165. lettuce rejoice
- 166. a contest
- 167. a hierarchy of love
- 168. the reality of love, part two
- 169. the virtue of foolishness
- 170. the banker has no choice
- 171. the banker’s idea
- 172. green ideas
- 173. the guilt of the tortoise
- 174. the Goddess’s advice
- 175. the guru’s plan to save his school
- 176. the guru was bad at haiku
- 177. three guru haiku
- 178.
- 179. haik-us
- 180. the guru’s one-million haiku
- 181. two kinds of people
- 182. repetition, repetition, repetition
- 183. two paths diverged
- 184. a harsh critique
- 185. the guru responds to his critic
- 186. the sun inside
- 187. the weight of the rock
- 188. an original koan
- 189. the tortoise’s conclusion
- 190. the guru’s proof
- 191. one path to #zen.
- 192. third thoughts
- 193. the sun astounds.
- 194. very interesting.
- 195. introduction
- 196. the guru meditates atop a branch
- 197. the guru and the tyger
- 198. the guru’s teaching
- 199. the tyger chase: a game
- 200. the dramatic conclusion: an ebook
- 201. the guru’s book
- 202. the guru’s advertisement
- 203. how to sell a book
- 204. the sunflower and the tortoise
- 205. what is a koan?
- 206. beatitudes, part one
- 207. beatitudes, part two
- 208. beatitudes, part three
- 209. beatitudes, part four
- 210. beatitudes, part five
- 211. a place beyond the far forest
- 212. more than any other
- 213. the tyger’s admiration
- 214. all hallow’s #zen
- 215. the #zen personality test
- 216. a personal test
- 217. is the tortoise the guru?
- 218. a new personality test.
- 219. on the good life
- 220.
- 221. the guru gets ahead
- 222. a new meditative technique
- 223. oracular question
- 224. on the way to the oracle
- 225. tyger fight
- 226. the guru’s trials, part one
- 227. the guru’s trials, part two
- 228. the guru’s trials, part three
- 229. the guru’s trials, part four
- 230. the oracle
- 231. returning home
- 232. this koan
- 233. time
- 234. thanks
- 235. the guru’s friday
- 236. how to build a boat
- 237. how to row a boat
- 239. how to talk to a penguin
- 241. on free will
- 242. a simple answer
- 243. the guru’s prediction
- 244. the guru and the truth
- 245. a series of statements
- 246. the guru’s depression
- 247. the guru’s projection
- 248. the guru’s one question
- 249. the guru’s deception
- 250. the guru’s intercession
- for #zenmas. the last #zenmas
- 251. the tortoise’s secrets
- 252. the tortoise’s depression
- 253. the new year
- 254. the re-opening
- 255. business plans
- 256. the sunflower’s thoughts
- 257. the sunflower rots
- 258. the sunflower’s naught
- 259. the sunflower’s ought
- 260. the sunflower’s pot
- 261. the guru’s greatest koan
- 262. after all
- 263. the five senses
- 264. the banker’s deal
- 265. the branch
- 266. a koan kwiz
- 267. sequitur
- 268. the #zen of forgetting
- 269. on travel
- 270. the hot springs
- 271. how not to spread #zen
- 272. you will always have #zen
- 273. the climb
- 274. and tomorrow and
- 275. a mysterious kōan
- 276. koan village 2: the guru awakes
- 277. koan village 2: what the sunflower saw
- 278. koan village 2: the tyger’s hunt
- 279. koan village 2: the Goddess’s game
- 280. koan village 2: the all-you-can-eat lettuce buffet
- 281. the guru’s new book
- 282. the tortoise and the tortoise
- 283. love and loss
- 284. a definition
- 285. happy tortoise day
- 286. four days left
- 287. three days left
- 288. two days left
- 289. one day left
- 290. the day the world ended
- 291. a benediction
- 292. the taste of freedom
- 293. time is an illusion
- 294. the past and the present
- 295. on truth
- 296. on epistemology
- 297. on aesthetics
- 298. on logic
- 299. on politics
- 300. on metaphysics
- 301. the tortoise in the woods
- 302. a secret sunflower
- 303. on marketing
- 304. on continuance
- 305. the future of kōans
- 306. on reincarnation
- 307. on nirvana
- 308. selling out
- 309. some alone time
- 310. thank the Goddess
- 311. the guru’s busy day
- 312. on nothing
- 316. a strange commodity
- 317. the beginning and the end
- 318. another syllogism
- 319. the quality of quantity
- 320. a deal with the tyger
- 321. the game
- 322. two words
- 323. the three parts of time
- 324. the end of the path
- 325. insides
- 326. so is all
- 327. a visit to the oracle
- 328. tortoises and #zen
- 329. on missing
- 330. on telling the truth
- 331. on time
- 332. on solipsism
- 333. three statements
- 334. on getting started
- 335. the guru’s song
- 336. the guru’s new kōans
- 337. the guru’s defense
- 338. the power of intention
- 339. on dreams
- 340. on beauty
- 341. the tyger’s stripes
- 342. beneath the surface
- 343. the middle of the week
- 344. the student and the tyger
- 345. on reflecting
- 346. the head of lettuce
- 347. on suffering
- 348. the tortoise hides in the woods
- 349. on procrastination
- 350. the lettuce thinks
- 351. the tortoise goes into the woods
- 352. the guru goes into the woods
- 353. now the guru gets lost
- 354. the guru and the tortoise talk
- 355. the tortoise and the guru leave the woods
- 356. alone in the woods at night
- 357. the tortoise and the tyger
- 358. but they were still lost
- 359. the village in the distance
- 360. the tortoise asks around
- 361. into the woods again
- 362. meanwhile, in the woods
- 363. the tyger and the tortoise
- 364. the tortoise is lost for the nth time
- 365. the two tortoises
- 366. a questionable student
- 367. a counter-example
- 368. telling the student
- 369. the guru gives up
- 370. the guru writes his response
- 371. the value of value
- 372. understanding
- 373. the goose and the gander
- 374. lōan application
- 375. the guru, the banker, and pots
- 376. the tortoise’s friends
- 377. the guru’s tip on making friends
- 378. the tortoise’s lament
- 379. a friendship with the tyger
- 380. a deal with the guru
- 381. lost and found
- 382. do it for the fund of it
- 383. the tortoise fund, part iii: the banker is confused
- 384. the tortoise fund, part iv: tortoise steady
- 385. the tortoise fund, part v: the guru’s gift
- 386. authorial distance
- 387. a 2nd kōan kwiz
- 388. a few complaints
- 389. the guru was late, and he still is
- 390. what happens to sunflowers
- 391. the guru owes the bank
- 392. question
- 393. understanding #zen
- 394. the guru’s students
- 395. tomorrow and tomorrow
- 396. rekap: the guru
- 397. rekap: the tortoise
- 398. rekap: the rock
- 399. rekap: the sunflower
- 401. a new kharacter
- 402. an uninvited pest
- 403. to fly and to fall
- 404. love bugs me
- 405. bug to the present
- 406. the guru’s great teaching
- 407. the bugkiller’s backstory
- 408. where were we?
- 409. where was lovebug?
- 410. lovebug chase: a #zen game
- 411. guru v. tortoise, round 3
- 412. the sunflower said
- 413. the guru’s books
- 414. the book thief
- 415. a glorious sight
- 416. the secret to happiness
- 417. typographical auras
- 418. kōan of the
- 419. the tortoise’s advice
- 420. the guru’s many selves
- 421. this is the way of the universe
- 422. the moon in the lake
- 423. the virtue of forgetfulness
- 424. ends and means
- 425. on marriage
- 426. sleep
- 427. justice and charity
- 428. the guru’s behind
- 429. the Goddess’s ducats
- 430. the guru’s many projects
- 431. the guru’s greatest kōan
- 432. kōanman
- 433. another kōantradiction
- 434. sillygisms
- 435. all is vanity
- 436. a big green pile of #zen
- 437. breaking the law
- 438. leave it be
- 439. the smallest number
- 440. the guru’s class
- 441. coffee spring, part 1
- 442. coffee spring, part 2
- 443. coffee spring, part 3
- 444. coffee springs eternal
- 445. coffee headache
- 446. to be discontinued
- 447. the numbers
- 448. do gooders
- 449. the guru’s got too much to do
- 450. the tortoise’s kōans
- 451. the tortoise’s second kōan
- 452. the tortoise is on a roll
- 453. tortoise halloween
- 454. the tortoise kwits
- 455. the guru’s printing press
- 456. how do you manage?
- 457. the guru’s numbers
- 458. the guru’s true philosophy
- 459. limerick
- 460. the guru’s 460th kōan
- 461. the guru’s late
- 462. fridays
- 463. coincidence
- 464. coincidence 2
- 465. coincidence 3
- 466. coincidence 4
- 467. a theory of coincidences
- 468. stop and smell the sunflowers
- 469. plans for this thursday
- 470. the pilgrim
- 471. eye of the guru
- 472. the tortoise’s tree
- 473. the tyger’s temptation
- 474. sunflowers for sale
- 475. the smallness of self
- 476. last week
- 477. the guru and the banker and the lake
- for #zenmas. the first #zenmas
- 478. the greatest #zenmas
- 479. the new new year
- 480. business
- 481. the guru’s announcement
- 482. the tortoise’s reaction
- 483. worship
- 484. a new story
- 485. the moon at the end of the path
- 486. the guru’s interview with the moon
- 487. the guru’s adventure
- 488. the guru is a voice
- 489. how to be #zen
- 490. what is #zen?
- 491. the guru and the Goddess and that other guy
- 492. 50 kōans lost
- 493. the three yous
- 494. the way of #zen
- 495. guru, banker, tortoise
- 496. the guru and the jailer
- 497. the guru’s questions
- 498. the guru questions the tortoise
- 499. tomorrow is a game
- 500. the 500th kōan party
- 501. lettuce walk
- 502. the guru’s competition
- 503. the guru’s failure
- 504. the guru’s success
- 505. nu haiku
- 506. haiku two
- 508. the tortoise and the head of lettuce
- 507. the problem with the world today
- 509. the middle of the beginning of the end
- 510. is the government just?
- 512. gurufication, part 2
- 511. gurufication
- 512. the universe
- 513. the meaning of the kōans
- 514. the irregularity of time
- 515. the guru offers a refund
- 516. the sunflower and the tortoise
- 517. the missing link
- 518. the world according to Goddess
- 519. the world according to Goddess, part 2
- 520. the world according to Goddess, part 3
- 521. the world according to Goddess, part 4
- 522. the world according to the tortoise
- 523. the guru’s new game
- 524. the tortoise had a dream
- 525. the end of the end
- 526. what did you say?
- 527. the dream of the Goddess
- 528. a bad, bad man
- 529. ups and downs
- 530. misdirection
- 531. missed connection
- 532. kōan of kōans
- 533. kōantinuation
- 534. the guru’s gone
- 535. the end of ends
- 536. the beginning of beginnings
- 537. lovebug returns
- 538. the Goddess and lovebug’s wings
- 539. the banker and lovebug’s wings
- 540. a back-shelled compliment
- 541. the guru cries out
- 542. an excerpt from 17
- 543. an actual excerpt from 17: the way of the moon
- 544. another excerpt from 17: the way of the mantra
- 545. the price of 17
- 546. 17 is now available
- 547. gratitude
- 548. a question about 17
- 549. the guru & the moon
- 550. lovebug loves you
- 551. the Goddess & belief
- 552. the courage of the sunflower
- 553. forget me
- 554. a laugh
- 555. five, five, five
- 556. the guru cried out to the moon
- 557. happy #zensday
- 558. the tortoise & the wilderness
- 559. there is no hope, and i must scream
- 560. dream a dream of dreams
- 561. the banker’s moon
- 562. another number game
- 563. the banker’s claim
- 564. the banker explains debt
- 565. the horror
- 566. the sunflower on the moon
- 567. the banker’s rock
- 568. the guru preaches the jubilee
- 569. the dawn of #zen
- 570. chaos rains
- 571. #zen in the time of war
- 572. meating of the minds
- 573. this is the knowledge
- 574. do you dream?
- 575. the constable in the courthouse
- 576. the tortoise and the hair
- 577. the jubilee jamboree
- 578. dance like you’ve never danced before
- 579. the guru’s plea
- 580. pledge drive
- 581. the tortoise talks
- 582. torn up inside
- 583. personal koans
- 584. before the beginning
- 585. the kōanic decline
- 586. what is the meaning of life?
- 587. the guru’s grumpy
- 588. the guru’s politics
- 589. are the kōans back?
- 590. the kōans are not kōans
- 591. the guru prays
- 592. there is nothing but nothing
- 593. the Goddess says nothing
- 594. murderous kōans
- 595.
- 596. the tortoises go to counseling
- 597. the guru’s task
- 598. the guru’s plea
- 599. nothing more
- 600. the 600th kōan
- 601. the tortoises talk
- 602. lovebug’s lament
- 603. the guru gives
- 604. counting down
- 605. Goddess great
- 606. believe in yourself
- 607. dream of tomorrow
- 608. what is the universe?
- 609. be thankful
- 610. the guru took a break
- 611. power and persuasion
- 612. #zenmas is coming?
- 613. hashtag zen
- 614. there is only now
- 615. the tortoise and his wife
- 616. the legend of lovebug
- 617. brace yourself
- 618. the tortoises’ reconciliation
- 619. sunflower song
- 620. coffee and #zen
- 621. the Goddess’s goose
- 622. once upon a time…
- 623. #zenmas eve
- for #zenmas. the gifts of the tortoises’
- 624. april fools kōan
- 625. the new beginning
- 626. time again
- 627. how to celebrate zensday
- 628. the tortoise talks
- 629. the end of zen?
- 630. not goodbye
- 631. the guru’s lecture
- 632. feedback
- 633. mistakes and missteps
- 634. the jubilee
- 635. bad answers to bad questions
- 636. backlash!
- 637. the tortoise and lettuce
- 638. dreams of dreams
- 639. the sunflower sees
- 640. flying, flying, falling
- 641. lovebug’s lament
- 642. the woman who wrote
- 643. hope and hopelessness
- 644. lovebug’s red
- 645. the guru’s indecision
- 646. the tortoise meets the guru
- 647. a class on zensday
- 648. the sunflower is thirsty
- 649. a klassic koan
- 650. honesty
- 651. zen and the art of lettuce eating
- 652. the guru’s book
- 653. nobody knows anything
- 654. there are 123 koans remaining
- 655. no ideas
- 656. on taste
- 657. another zensday kōan
- 658. another zensday
- for zenmas. a zenmas miracle.
- 659. the guru comes out of his cave
- 660. the guru returns to his school
- 661. meet the new guru
- 662. the breath of zen
- 663. true knowledge
- 664. the lawyer’s rule
- for zenmas. a zenmas carol
- 665. a change has come
- 666. marketing
- 667. the Goddess speaks
- 668. tortoise wisdom
- 669. the oracle’s answer
- 670. life at sea, part one
- the rules of the Goddess (671)
- the rule breaker (672)
- green memories (673)
- life at sea, part two (674)
- the teachings of the sage (675)
- a new way to be (676)
- the most important kōan (677)
- nothingness (678)
- the beginning and the end (679)
- what is love? (680)
- how can you help? (681)
- true love found (682)
- yet another kōan about love (683)
- love is that which cannot die (684)
- the kōans are limited (685)
- the tortoise went on a walk (686)
- clocks and time (687)
- no kōan, no problem (688)
- the lettuce at the end of the rainbow (689)